A Tear for the Scrawny
It seems i've let a month go past without 'blogging'. Well, shit.
Today i will talk of a hidden minority, those who bear the burdens of the underweight. The western world's obesity epidemic has created this underclass of thinness. These poor souls cope day by day with wider types staring at them like circus freaks, and the burden bears down on their skinny bone-protruding spines rather heavily. Well, the days where they suffer in silence are over. No, not they. We, for I am one of them.
Thats right, this whole time you have been reading the thoughts of one of these rake-people. I am a fairly tall person, yet am only 60 kilograms in the weight. Think belimic beanpole suffering a famine of African proportions and you got me. Oh we who are high on metabolism may seem gifted, but the bare skin-and-bones truth is that we are cursed.
And yet, society does nothing to help! If i ever venture to one of these 'super' markets that are so popular, everywhere i look are products rabidly proclaiming their low-fat/no-fat promises. Dairy, meat, soup; it's all been robbed of fatty goodness. Even fast-food chains are selling out! McDonalds of all places has gone lite- leaving us thin folk in the dark. And god help the slender people who actually like healthy food- such as myself. I enjoy a bit of yogurt, but try finding some goddamn full-fat yogurt these days!
So, you ask, whats so bad about being thin? I'll tell you. Fat people- they get attention. You can't miss the bastards, bloating up in your field of vision. Thinnies, well people are as likely to try and hang their coats on us as acknowledge our presence. Also, ever played on the see-saw with someone half your weight? No, its not much fun. And its always easier to ostricise poor skinny timmy, rather than losing a few pounds yourself to let the kid in on the up-and-down action. And speaking of up and down action, its not easy for adult male skinnies to maintain missionary position when their scrawny arms can barely hold their own weight.
And try arguing with thick-necked bouncers when you've got shoulders the size of their ankles! Oh and sure, as a tall guy its easy for me to reach the top shelf, but can i support the weight of the object desired?
Enough is enough people, its time to make a stand and save the twigs!
Today i will talk of a hidden minority, those who bear the burdens of the underweight. The western world's obesity epidemic has created this underclass of thinness. These poor souls cope day by day with wider types staring at them like circus freaks, and the burden bears down on their skinny bone-protruding spines rather heavily. Well, the days where they suffer in silence are over. No, not they. We, for I am one of them.
Thats right, this whole time you have been reading the thoughts of one of these rake-people. I am a fairly tall person, yet am only 60 kilograms in the weight. Think belimic beanpole suffering a famine of African proportions and you got me. Oh we who are high on metabolism may seem gifted, but the bare skin-and-bones truth is that we are cursed.
And yet, society does nothing to help! If i ever venture to one of these 'super' markets that are so popular, everywhere i look are products rabidly proclaiming their low-fat/no-fat promises. Dairy, meat, soup; it's all been robbed of fatty goodness. Even fast-food chains are selling out! McDonalds of all places has gone lite- leaving us thin folk in the dark. And god help the slender people who actually like healthy food- such as myself. I enjoy a bit of yogurt, but try finding some goddamn full-fat yogurt these days!
So, you ask, whats so bad about being thin? I'll tell you. Fat people- they get attention. You can't miss the bastards, bloating up in your field of vision. Thinnies, well people are as likely to try and hang their coats on us as acknowledge our presence. Also, ever played on the see-saw with someone half your weight? No, its not much fun. And its always easier to ostricise poor skinny timmy, rather than losing a few pounds yourself to let the kid in on the up-and-down action. And speaking of up and down action, its not easy for adult male skinnies to maintain missionary position when their scrawny arms can barely hold their own weight.
And try arguing with thick-necked bouncers when you've got shoulders the size of their ankles! Oh and sure, as a tall guy its easy for me to reach the top shelf, but can i support the weight of the object desired?
Enough is enough people, its time to make a stand and save the twigs!
posted by Max | 7:49 pm
1 Comments:
freaking awesome!!! its about time we heard a voice from one of us slender people in this world of loud fat people.
i can relate to a lot of what u have said arguing with bouncers, low-fat food i hate it all.
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