War on Cat

Whenever the family goes anywhere and leaves me with the house for a while, me and my cat have some interesting times. Topsy, her name is. A cute name. A rather innocent name really, especially for the FUCKING DEVIL.

When the family isnt around, we don't interact much. But when they go, suddenly she has to come to me for food. I can see it in her eyes when she realises everyone else has left. Its very much a look of 'oh fuck.'

It can be argued that maybe sometimes just a little bit i forget to feed her for days on end. But she gets her own back. If i leave anything on the ground, or the door to my room open, its pissed on. She doesnt pee on anyone elses stuff, just mine. And if there was ever a guy that left stuff on the ground, its me. Wallets, bags, clothes, assignments, it has all fallen victim to the Urine Assasin.

So getting my stuff covered in urine really bugs me, so i refuse to feed her, you know, to teach her a lesson. For her own good! So shes starts meowing and meowing and meowing AND MEOWING AND MEOWING AND MEOWING! Seriously, she carries on like she couldnt live without this goddamn catfood of hers.

I realise i could just make peace and feed her, but that would be letting the cat win! The War on Cat is a war that cannot be won, but it is a war that must be fought nonetheless.

Play your part in the War Against Cat...

And God bless Dogma!